Matthew Figata, Tom Bentley & Eric Charming

It was right after Halloween that I showed up with my friend, Tom. We were just going to say hi, hang out for a bit, and go into town when we saw some pumpkins sitting on the stoop. They weren’t carved or anything, clearly put out for Halloween but never decorated. It felt like a shame to put them out completely blank.

I asked my uncle if we could carve them up and a peculiar sort of smile crossed his face. His smile was always disarming, glowing white and bright. But something about the look in his eye surprised me. He said yes and Tom and I brought in the pumpkins to begin working away.

Tom and I were being dumb and talking about what we were going to carve and such, still wishing it was Halloween. We went to look for a knife and some towels and when we got back to the pumpkins, my uncle was standing there, waiting for us, still with that peculiar smile on his face.

“Boys, come here,” he began. We walked over, waiting for him to simply just remind us not to make a mess or clean up after ourselves. Instead, he mentioned something about a “fall male-bonding harvest ritual.” It sounded like a joke he was setting up, one of my uncle’s attempts at silly humor. But when he explained that it’s done completely naked, I felt my face flush red.

Completely naked? Was he being serious? I watched in disbelief as my uncle began to unbutton his shirt. I could tell Tom was on board immediately. His face lit up and his horny, “say yes” attitude came right out. For me? I was nervous. I’d never seen my uncle naked before. And he’d never seen me naked! I kept waiting for the moment when it was revealed to be a prank, but when uncle Matthew stripped down to his underwear, I knew he wasn’t kidding.